Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Character Interview: Dereck

If you've read Daisy by Design, you probably have some questions, and, undoubtedly, the most pressing one is this: Can Dereck really be that stupid? Is his goofiness genuine, or is he putting on an act to protect himself?

Ladies and gentlemen, I aim to find that out, so, without further ado, let's bring out our guest!

Dereck: Huh? Where am I? Did I get abducted by aliens... again?

Me: Um, I'm pretty sure that never happened. (This book isn't my science fiction one...)

Dereck: No, dude, that totally happened. I was just lying in bed and then there was this light, and...

Me: Could it have been the sun rising?

Dereck: Doubtful. Say, if you're not an alien, who are you?

Me: I'm... um... a figment of your imagination. You're dreaming, and I thought it would be fun to talk.

Dereck: A figment of my imagination?! Dude, that's exactly what BrandName says whenever he wants me to leave him alone!

Me: *Blink blink* All right, then... I'm a... ghost?

Dereck: *Pales*

Me: Oh, forget it! It doesn't matter who I am, but we are going to have a conversation, and we are going to enjoy it! *Huff*

Dereck: But... what if you're a... vampire or something? I don't wanna talk to a vampire.

Me: *Groan* I'M A WRITER IN CHARGE OF DOCUMENTING YOUR ADVENTURES, AND IF YOU DON'T COOPERATE, I JUST MIGHT KILL YOU OFF! *Pause* (I don't think I should have said that...)

Dereck: *Eyes widen* Ooohhh! Why didn't you just say so?

Me: *Sigh* Will you please try to focus?

Dereck: No. I never focus. I think it's called... OCD, or something like that.

Me: That's ADD. *Deep sigh* I'm about at the end of my rope, but before I close out, is there anything you'd like to say?

Dereck: *Big grin* Yes. A football works best when it's not covered in honey.

Dereck: You there?

Dereck: Are we done?


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